Anniversary

It's been almost 5 years since my prom (one month and a week difference, ish). Today I threw away my prom corsage. I felt like it was a good sign.

I hold on to everything. Not in a 'hoarder' sense, but things that have sentimental value I am hard-pressed to toss out.

I cried when I threw out a basket full of old pointe shoes. I used to have a trashbag full of them. That's how many i've gone through. I had a basket of some of the "more important ones" and throwing them out made me cry. I still have every pair I wore in a performance.

I also threw out some old things in my dance bag. Nothing really worth keeping... foot lotion, toe tape. Nothing important, but doing so made me feel like someone was pulling me back toward the ballet studio, like I need to go back to class and try again. Every time it's more and more disappointing every time. I just miss it so much.

Prom was nothing of an extraordinary night for me. I had a decent time, hung out with friends, got to wear a pretty dress, but other than that, it was no different than any other social occasion - awkward. I really loved the corsage Cris got for me though and I kept it till now.

I don't let things go easily, in any sense. It doesn't have to be sentimental even. I guess in a way i do hoard a lot of things, even just emotions or memories.